


When Haymitch Met Effie: Behind the Scenes

by craft_beeress (tinypies)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, When Harry Met Sally (1989)
Genre: (most of it), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 14:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6379756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypies/pseuds/craft_beeress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cressida and Caesar are making a documentary exploring married relationships. Caesar sits with married couples and interviews them on their love stories, hoping to capture not only footage but insight into the nature of happy relationships. "Modern" AU. Will feature Everlark, Hayffie and more!<br/>Obviously I do not own any of the characters featured in this work, they are just being borrowed for a little fun.</p><p>This is a tie-in with another story I've got going on, "When Haymitch Met Effie," a Hayffie take on <em>When Harry Met Sally.</em> In case you are unfamiliar with the movie, there are scenes of a "documentary" interspersed throughout the whole film and framing it at the end, featuring clips of couples talking on camera about their story – how they met, etc. I had so much fun writing the first "interview" that it turned into something much bigger than the "edited" version that appears in WHME. This will feature a different couple's "unedited" interview in each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

"Make sure you get my good side, Cressie baby," Caesar Flickerman flashes the tattooed woman behind the camera his trademark gigawatt smile, "Oh, what am I saying, **every** side is my good side!" He "shoots" his finger at her with a wink and throws his head back in a boisterous laugh, while Cressida sticks her tongue out and flips him the double bird, "Nyuuuh." She adjusts the tripod, making sure to glare convincingly at her partner.

"You know you'll miss me calling you Cressie when this launches my career as a famous TV host and we have to part ways." "You're lucky you're so good at interviewing subjects or I would have killed you by now for being so obnoxious. Now kindly shut your trap while I get some room tone before the couples show up—No, I mean literally shut your mouth. I can't think straight with those teeth blinding me." "Excuse me, um, are we supposed to be here?" Cressida looks up from her screen. A fair-haired young man leans in the doorway. So much for getting the tone before the interviews.

"Oh, sorry about that, I didn't mean to ignore you. Come on in. Thanks for your participation today," Cressida ushers in the first couple. "I'm the director-slash-camera crew-slash-executive producer, Cressida Albright. You signed in right?" They nod in unison. "Great. Pleased to meet you…?" she offers her hand to the gray-eyed woman, "Katniss," she finishes for her as they shake hands. "Katniss. And you as well…" she moves to shake the man's hand, "Peeta. Nice to meet you." "Peeta. Pleased to have you both. This way."  
She shows them to their seats next to Caesar. "And this is my partner in crime, Caesar Flickerman. He'll be interviewing you."

"Hello, hello. My what a cute couple you two are! I'm just going to ask you a few questions about your relationship…"  
_'Well, Caesar really is good at what he does,'_ Cressida thinks to herself as her 'partner in crime' schmoozes.  
Once everyone is settled and briefed, Cressida signals to Caesar she's started filming.


	2. Katniss and Peeta Mellark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Peeta Mellark's full interview.

**CAESAR:** Peeta and Katniss Mellark. Well, first of all, let me just get this out of the way—I just have to say that you two have such unique names, and they both have such a nice ring to them! I love it!

**PEETA:** Heh. Well, um… Thank you? Or, maybe my dad should thank you since he picked mine.

**CAESAR:** Credit where credit is due.

**PEETA:** Yeah. My mom wanted to name me 'Bagel.'

**CAESAR:** HAHAHAHAHA! Touché! This guy is funny! Isn't he? He must make you smile a lot.

**KATNISS:** Yes. But. It's obviously not his stale jokes that make me smile.

**PEETA** (Pretending to be insulted): Hey! (He playfully bumps her with his elbow)

**CAESAR:** Oooh! I like that. Firey girl!  
So tell me then, what is the number one thing Mr. Mellark does to make you smile, Mrs. Mellark?

**KATNISS:** That… might not be appropriate for your audience.

**CAESAR:** OHHHH! Okay then… Wow! Well, clearly you two have a… healthy… appreciation for each other. It must've been love at first sight!

**KATNISS** (simultaneously): No.

**PEETA** (simultaneously): Yeah.

**CAESAR:** Oooohhh! I guess you had to grow on her, huh Peeta? How did you meet?

**PEETA:** Well, see, I _saw_ her first, I didn't exactly _meet_ her right away.

**CAESAR:** Do tell.

**PEETA:** I was finishing my shift at Panema, it's a bakery and coffee chain—my parents own a few locations in the franchise. This was about eleven years ago, but since it was my parents' place I could work there, all of us brothers did. Anyway, I'll never forget—it was a rainy day, like, sheets of rain pouring nonstop. So this girl comes in and she's the only one in there because who wants to go out in weather like that—

**KATNISS:** Not people in Clarksburg.

**PEETA:** That's where we grew up. I still hate the rain! I mean, when it's raining that hard. A little shower is nice, but when it's so hard your windshield wipers can't work fast enough? No thanks—But yeah. It's pouring like crazy. I'm taking my apron off for the day, and I look up and see her coming in, and I can tell three things right at that moment: One, she's probably my age. Two, she's absolutely. Soaking. Wet. And Three, I'm looking at the girl I want to marry someday.

**CAESAR:** Just from that one look?

**PEETA:** Yep.

**CAESAR:** And you'd never met before this?

**PEETA:** Nope.

**CAESAR:** But you knew at that moment, at—wait, how old were you?

**PEETA:** Fifteen.

**CAESAR:** Fifteen years old! At fifteen I had trouble just deciding what color to dye my hair! Oh heck, I _still_ have that problem!  
But how could you have known something like that?

**PEETA:** (Thinking for a moment) I just… knew she was the one for me.

**CAESAR:** Your soulmate.

**PEETA:** I guess you could say that.

**CAESAR** : But despite all this you didn't even introduce yourself?

**PEETA** : Well no… It was a bit more complicated than that.

**CAESAR** : Uh-oh. The C-Word.

**PEETA** : I wanted to, but… Well first I was kind of embarrassed because it would've been so obvious I was hitting on her, and it probably would've seemed really inappropriate with her being the only one in there. I was going to put a note on her check but—

**KATNISS** : He chickened out.

**PEETA** : Well you have to admit that would have been creepy. And she was just sitting there alone, looking so—

**CAESAR** : Gorgeous?

**KATNISS** : If looking like a drowned rat is your idea of gorgeous.

**PEETA** : What? You did not. I mean, you were soaked but you looked… really pretty, with the way the little droplets of water were shining in your hair…

**KATNISS** : Come on. I looked like crap.

**CAESAR** : I think you're blushing.

**PEETA** : I was trying to get up the nerve to say something. I did bring her food to her, even though it was actually my brother's shift—even put an extra demi-baguette with her order.

**CAESAR** : Wooing the ladies with bread? That's a new one!

**PEETA** : And I thought I'd never get the chance to see her again.

**CAESAR** : But fate intervened.

**PEETA** : We were both in the finals for a local scholarship grant.

**KATNISS** : The Capitol Bank Scholarship. They make you write a tribute to the person that inspires you the most in your life, living or dead. Then they pick twelve finalists from the tribute essays and each person gets interviewed on the local news about how they plan to be an "inspiration" to others, whatever that actually means. People vote on them. Basically it ends up a contest for the best sob story, and of course the whole thing is just to make the bank look good. But free money is free money.

**PEETA** : So, I saw her segment on the news and I knew this time I absolutely **had** to talk to her. They film the announcement of the winner, and all of us were in the room together, and I finally got the nerve to introduce myself.

**KATNISS** : I already knew who he was. I read all the essays and saw each news segment. I thought he was going to win.

**PEETA** : No way, yours was a million times better. And your segment was the best. Even my mom thought so!

**CAESAR** : So, who won?

**PEETA** : It was a tie. They wanted us to do a final essay for a tie breaker. But I thought she deserved the win.

**KATNISS** : We actually ended up splitting the money instead, even though it was against the rules.

**PEETA** : So through that process was how we got acquainted. Then we got to be friends and…

**KATNISS** : Basically he followed me to college and then we started dating and we've been together ever since.

**PEETA** : And we got married on our fifth anniversary of becoming a couple. She wore the most incredible dress.

**KATNISS** : His brothers catered.

**CAESAR** : Well then, I'd say you both won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to change the timeline of the bread incident (and obviously the circumstances) and when they meet. And Peeta has a better relationship with his family here. It's an AU, I can do that, right? :)  
> In this story they're around 26 years old. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please leave your feedback/critiques/confessions of undying love if you are so inclined!

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I'd give a little bit of grounding to the scripted format with the film crew in novel form beforehand, though it doesn't happen in the source material. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to see an unusual combination in Cressida and Caesar? Oh, and if you wonder where Castor, Pollux, and Messalla are, it's just these two because this is a shoestring budget production and they're stuck with each other to advance their respective careers. In other words, they're small potatoes and haven't gotten famous enough to have any kind of staff yet.  
> Just for fun, Cressida's surname is a reference to Sally.
> 
> Please feel free to leave your thoughts, critique, or any other concerns. Thank you for reading.


End file.
